Monday, May 30, 2011

Wanted Dead or Alive: ORANGE EFFER



I huffed and puffed my way around the park tonight. It stinks to get old. I am still shiny coated and magnificent, no matter what the age! I am, however, 13 years old this June, and that is old in dog years. I fall a lot these days too. Hopefully Orange Effer is not watching me when I do. I don't want to give him any more smugness than he already has! He is one smug effer to be perfectly honest with you. Perhaps you have picked that up for yourself by reading this blog, but I still have to throw it out there if you will.

Last night there were police sirens screeching through our normally peaceful and quiet neighborhood. I really think they were looking for Orange Effer. I do, and do you know why I do? I will tell you why. Orange Effer is a wanted felon. He is wanted in at least 3 states (California, Arizona, and Illinois) for stalking his poor, poor victims to the point of INSANITY.

I am not insane, and I will tell you this, no matter how old I get, I will always have some reserve energy to fight The Effer. Always.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Orange Effer Bottled Water Co.

No sooner did I post my blog entry than did ORANGE EFFER prance by my window. It's like that crazy cat KNOWS my every move! I need to shake off my funk and get back into action, because there is NO WAY I am going to let Orange Effer get one up on me.

The water guy dumped some jugs of water off on our doorstep. I just don't get why this crazy man wants to give us water? I mean, it comes out of the faucet. Does he think Brad and Julie don't know that? That they are ignorant fools? Whatever the case may be, I don't trust him. I think Orange Effer might be trying to poison our water supply. Don't worry, I am not paranoid. I just know what Orange Effer is capable of. As I have said before, never underestimate the enemy.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A REAL Post From the Main Man



First things first, I don't know what was up with that "guest post." Brad pimped my blog out for a lousy $10, and I don't appreciate it. Why doesn't he just let Orange Effer do a guest post? I bet he would for 10 bucks. This is HOWARD the Dog Blog. Me! My blog dagnabit!


Well, as you can see, I am up to my eye-balls in everything baby. That baby is kicking back, relaxing, having a bottle, so he can energize himself once again to be up in my mug. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit in fact. He chases after me, and I don't want anything to do with the little Pepe Le Pew.


Babies have caused me to lose my mojo. For all I know, Orange Effer has taken over and set-up his evil empire in my neighborhood. Last night there was a cat fight on the fence, and I just yawned and rolled over. I am exhausted from trying hard, very hard, to keep those babies away from me, when all I want to do is nap and plot my next scheme against the Orange Effer.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Bleach

Authored by Abraham Brewer
When you're feeling in the mood to watch an anime that is just pure action with hardly any story whatsoever, you should check out Bleach on the Cartoon network. Definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. Anytime I feel like zombifying out after a rough day, I just plop onto the couch and check out an episode of Bleach on satalite tv.
The plot follows Kurosaki, Ichigo, a high school teen who has the ability to see dead spirits -- Six Sense anyone? Anyway, he one day encounters a spirit that is being chased by some sort of demon spirit. In his effort to help the spirit, he is badly injured. Just before the demon can finish him off, a soul reaper emerges to take care of the beast. The encount! er with the soul reaper, Kuchiki, Rukia, results in Ichigo being drawn into this world as an honorary soul reaper himself. You basically follow him as he goes through DBZ (Dragon Ball Z) style power levels. Basically he gets beat up by some new power. Next, he undergoes some super secret training. He then becomes almost equal to the new power. Finally, he powers up during the fight to get the win. Afterward this cycle is lathered, rinsed and repeated. It's pure, unadulterated entertainment and I still get a kick after a power up and evil doer beat down.