SOLACE

Thank you for sharing, Anonymous, friend of Howard:

From the Silence of your pain, I heard my name

and on the wings of light I have come

to see the sadness in your eyes

that cry without tears

Can you see me, I am here

I will always be near you,

to calm your shattered heart

and to make you smile at the memories

Do you feel me, perhaps a soft brush of fur

You ache to believe it's real

but you are afraid to hope

you brush away a strand of hair

But it was I, whispering

I am only here for a moment

The silver thread gently quivers

I will leave behind my love in a dream

When you awaken and without really knowing why

Your heart will know at last

That it is all right for now

to say goodbye.

SOLACE, Lisa Carmel Singer

When I Get Where I'm Going

There is not a day that goes by that we do not think of you. We think we have to rush home to let you outside, or think you will be there to greet us with your wet nose, soft ears and happy bark. We miss you so very, very much. We miss your grumpiness in the evenings. We haven't seen Orange Effer since you've been gone, and there is no one to bark and alert us of God knows what random effer might be walking up to our house with plans to lay siege on everything we own.

You made us feel happy, warm, and safe. You can never be replaced Howdog, and when we "get where we are going" we will be looking for you boy.

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

[Chorus]
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

[Repeat chorus]

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going

One Friend

This coming Thursday it will be 3 weeks since we said goodbye to you Howard.  We miss you so much, and wish we could cross that Rainbow Bridge and grab you and bring you back, but maybe if we saw how happy you are there, we wouldn't want to.

It is so hard to come home and not have you here to greet us.  When we bring in groceries, you are not here to trip over so excited to smell what is in the bags.  When I was in Trader Joes last week, and saw the dog treats, I wanted to knock them all off of the shelf.  How dare Trader Joes continue selling dog treats when you are not here to enjoy them!

The day you left us, we held you.  Brad held your head in his hands and petted you, while you licked his hand as the doctor administered the medicine to put you to sleep.  You slowly stopped licking, and were gone.  Howard, I have never seen Brad so sad.  He stood up, and dropped to the ground and sobbed.  I had to help him in the house.  You guys were always the best buddies.  I brought you home, but you became Brad's dog when you two first laid eyes on each other.

We hear you all the time.  We hear your nails scratching the wall when you roll over at night, listen for you to get up and get a drink of water, and hear your collar rattle when you shake...but then we realize those comfortable, familiar sounds are now just memories and our hearts break all over again.

It seems like just yesterday you were this cute little black puppy, wild and full of energy.  I was only 25 years old myself.  Where did the years go Howard?  So many memories are wrapped around you...so many wonderful, wonderful memories that we will always make us smile and cry all at the same time.

Howard, we are glad you are no longer suffering, but we sure miss you buddy!

Goodbye Dear Friend

Dear Howard's One and Only Reader,

It is with a broken heart that we let you know that our much loved, Howard, has crossed the Rainbow Bridge to be with his best buddy, Sare Bear.  We said our good-byes on Thursday, May 17, 2012, at 5:30 p.m. in the comfort of his own yard, as Brad lovingly held him in his arms while the vet gave him medicine to end his suffering.  He licked Brad's hands until he fell asleep as if to so say, "I trust you", and to thank him for all the wonderful years, and this one final act of love.  Howard is no longer in pain, and is running and jumping and having all the fun that he had in his younger years.

Howard gave us so much love and enjoyment, as only a dog can do.  When I asked Brad what he thought about getting a dog, he told me, "use your best judgement."  So I did.  I marched down to the Western Arizona Humane Society, in Lake Havasu City, AZ, and picked out a little black puppy from the sweetest litter of pups I had ever seen.  That was fourteen years ago.  Howard, turned out to be not so sweet, but more of a kick ass and ask questions later kind of dog.  He kept me company in Arizona when Brad had to leave to Santa Barbara for work 2 - 3 days at a time.  He drove me crazy and made me feel safe.  He was an excellent watch dog, and I don't know when I will ever sleep such worry free sleep without him.

For Brad and Howard, it was love at first site.  Howard instantly became Brad's dog.  They were best buddies, and I swear Howard would get ticked at me when Brad had to be gone for a couple of days or more.  He went into depression mode for the first day, and constantly watched and waited for him to return.  We'd go out on the warm Arizona nights that Brad was due home, and sit together and wait for him to drive up in his white Ford Ranger XLT which ironically turned out to be the same exact truck that the vet drove and took Howard away for his finally bye bye ride.  Howard LOVED that truck.  I truly believe, with God, there are no coincidences.

Fourteen years goes by way too fast.  I was only 25 years old then.  So much has happened in those 14 years, and Howard was a part of each and every one of them.  He was such a good dog to us, and loved us and protected us with such devotion.  He would have laid down his life for us.  No effer was going to stand in his way!  His hips gave out long before his spirit ever did, and they caused him a lot of pain and suffering that was just too much to bear.

Howard, you were Brad's best buddy, and my favorite watch dog.  Life will not be the same without you and we cannot believe you are gone.  Our hearts are breaking and there is a hole in the world right now, because you are gone.  We truly thought you'd live forever, how can it possibly be that you are no longer here?  It just doesn't seem real, Howdog, that you are gone.  I keep waiting to hear your breathing, or your nails scratch against the wall when you roll over at night.  When I get up in the middle of the night, I always look for you, or expect to hear you drinking water at 3 a.m. listening to make sure it wasn't from the toilet.  You will always be in our hearts until we see you again, and will stand as a fine example of my "best judgement."   

To Howard's Favorite and Only Reader, and you'd be his favorite even if you weren't the only reader, thanks for sharing in the laughs that Howard never failed to bring into our lives.

Sincerely,
Brad and Julie

The Orange Effer is a Vampire

I am feeling better and getting around a little better.  Must be that extra dose of glucosamine Brad is giving me.  Plus, since I was not eating, Brad has started giving me wet food with my dry food, and sometimes only wet food and I like that much better.  It is not easy being an old codger, and it ought to come with some benefits.

You know who else is an old codger?  I'll give you one guess...give up?  Of course, it's Orange Effer.  I think I saw a grey whisker in his beard the other day.  He was walking along the fence top prancing around like, "Look at me Howard.  I am so young and vibrant and you are so old and stiff-jointed!"

I willed that effer to trip over his own shadow, and when I barked through the screen door he dashed off like the true skeerdy cat he is, but before he got completely away I saw a flash of silver on the side of his ugly mug.
That being said, I think Orange Effer is like a vampire and has been around for centuries tormenting the likes of me.

Sporty Rig!

Don't need one of these yet!  No sir!  Brad increased my joint vitamins and perhaps it is helping.

Or

Perhaps it is pure hatred for The Orange Effer that has been lubricating my hip joints.  Typically hatred increases inflammation in one's body, however, in my case, it is having a reverse effect.  

Or

Maybe, it is because, I, Howard, the Magnificent Shiny Coated Bastard that I am, is not your typical pooch!

Thank the Lord, because I can only imagine the uproar Orange Effer would have if he saw me sporting this rig.  He'd take pictures and put them on Cat Tube and all of his evil cohorts would have a catty old time posting sarcastic remarks about me.  

Effers.

Cash For Keys - The Deuce Family Leaves

I have had a pretty good day today. It is very hard to get up, but once I am up, I'm up. I even ate two bowls of dog food today, and some of Julie's scrambled eggs this morning. Now, I am dictating this to Julie from the cold tile floor that Brad hates for me to lie down on. He hates it, because it is even harder for me to get up and he has to help me, and then I growl at him because, well, it is just what I do. It is like a scene from a Mexican Telenova really.

Anyway, my plan is to convince Julie that the eggs made all the difference in the world!!! So maybe I will get them everyday!!!

Orange Effer isn't going to be leaving. Sir-Barks-A-Lot next door lets me know what's up. Sir-Barks-A-Lot is as annoying as hell, but I've started making use of him to my benefit. I even thank him every now and then by pretending I am gonna fight him through the fence again. Really gets him pumped up and makes him feel tough, even though he is not. Sir-Barks-A-Lot is a lonely little feller.

The petrified poop forest from Deuce's house is cleaned up. The house was foreclosed on and the owners got cash for keys. Good riddance Deuce Family...you were never good enough for the Deuce anyway.