Who Wouldn't Want to be Me????

One of Julie's co-workers paid me the ultimate compliment the other day. She said, and I quote, "I want to be Howard."

I ask you, who would NOT want to be me?

A short list of my best qualities:
1. Handsome.
2. Shiny coated magnificent bastard...according to my anonymous fan.
3. I get respect.
4. I've slimmed down a little thanks to my new diet that I am going to write a book on and sell it on the internets like Richard Simmons, only less gay and way better looking.
5. I can smell the hind end of a cow from more than a mile away. Can you?
6. I wake Brad and Julie up every morning so that I can start my naps, and they fall for it every time.
7. I like to lay out in the scorching hot sun, and then run in the air-conditioned house to cool off.
8. I am an awesome swimmer. When I was little I could get a running head-start and jump from the ground into the above ground pool that we used to have.
9. I get brushed and walked almost daily, and if I don't somebody pays. BIG TIME. His name rhymes with sad, dad, bad, glad, you get the picture.
10. I get my food bought, paid for, and served to me. I am served fresh water two to three times daily, and Brad fluffs my dog bed as needed.

I live like a KING!