You would not BELIEVE what my masters have done NOW. They are foster parents. Foster parents to (their words) the most adorable toddler ever with soft curls and big brown eyes. She is 17 months old and the bane of my existence.
My kingdom has come crashing down around me. This must what be what it felt like for Julius Caesar when Rome fell...or whomever was king then. I'm a dog. What do I know? Not much about world history, I'll tell you that much.
My living hell started last Thursday, and it has not gotten any better. I don't like that sweet little cherub at all. She has usurped my power and authority and taken most of the attention away that I have enjoyed for the last 12 years of my life.
Julie talks to her in a sing song-y voice all the time. Brad plays with her. He plays games with her and tosses her in the air and makes me not only jealous but a nervous damn wreck. I mean, what if he throws his back out?
You thought I'd be nervous about the baby?
No, no, no.
The baby needs to go.
I am up to two walks a day now. Sometimes I go into Cujo mode and must be put in the bedroom or outside by myself. It sucks. I am a mess right now. Julie and Brad are nice people, but this is extreme. They are out of their ever loving minds. I thought cats were bad, but babies are worse. Way worse.
SIDE NOTE: I spotted Orange Effer in the park last night. I thought that effer was dead. No such luck.
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2 comments:
howard, you need to go with the flow...remember, the only certain thing in life is change...I think you also are in a bit of denial...you purport to dislike this cheeky little upstart, but then you use words like cute and adorable...hmm, sounds conflicted...as far as the baby is concerned, hey, that's life... "birds do it, bees do it, even educated flees do it", as the song goes...a labradoodle, yet!....a poodrador!...bottom line, roll with it, think politically here, and you will get through this...concentrate on the effer...be like a strong tree: bend with the wind, not against it...
by the way, Caesar was murdered around the time the Republic was changing into imperial rule...Rome's best days were still ahead...400 more years after his murder before she finally fell for good...the U.S. should be so lucky to last as long (it won't)
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