First Words

Brad took the baby and me for a walk together last night. Julie was at a meeting. Let me just say, Brad is not too coordinated, and it was a scene at first. Admittedly, I did not make things easy for him, but what am I to do when a little rat dog is trying to one up me and a kid on a skateboard whizzes by simultaneously? I will be the first to admit that I do not hold myself together well in the face of triggers like these. I lose all composure and act like a complete bastard. I cannot help myself.

I was thinking today. That baby's first words are going to be, "Howard, NO! Howard go lay down! Howard be nice to the baby!" I wish I could teach that baby a few words, because if I could he would say, "Daddy, go get Howard a treat out of the cupboard immediately! Mommy, let Howard outside to get that Orange Effer!" Something useful.

I have to admit, I do enjoy it when that baby cries at 3 a.m. and Julie and Brad have to get out of bed to investigate the situation. Sweet justice is what I am talking about!

I need a vacation to Monterey. I deserve a vacation after all of the BS I have been putting up with lately. Maybe Orange Effer got to go to Monterey, and I will see him on the beach?