A Long Overdue Update

Status Post Anesthesia

Me: The Day of Surgery

Well, they did it. They took me to have my ear operated on. This time we went to a different vet, who thankfully did not stitch my damn ear to my head. WTF? I looked like a freak show back then. Whatever. The hematoma was so big this time, that the vet had to make two incisions. Oil well (oh well). I'm all healed up now, and you'd almost never know what happened to me. I'm still as handsome as ever. Shiny coated magnificent bastard that I am!

In other news: I have been waking up every morning with such great anticipation as to what will happen in my backyard for the day. I mean to tell you, all the neighborhood dogs and cats want in MY backyard. The Orange Effer still prances past my sliding glass door like the piece of work that he is. Dooce started digging another hole to get through, and now the neighbor dog who barks like a damn coon dog but is not one, has started to dig a hole. He's too stupid though to figure out how to get more than his nose through. I oughta bite it off. Heh heh. I haven't seen the black and white kitty in awhile...must be smarter than I thought he was. Can't believe I'm refering to a cat as smart, but it is what it is. Must be the long term effects of anesthesia.

Brad, that busy bastard, has me down to one walk a day. I can't believe it. Julie has switched to day shift, and she is a little more pleasant to be around lately. She is not threatening with baths so much anymore, and I like that. I cannot tell you how my heart races when she threatens me with a bath. Nearly sends me into atrial fibrillation. How does a dog know about dysrhythmias? I study Julie's EKG books, that's how. When she is not home, I study, I google, I learn. I am one smart dog, as you know. When she gets home I just look like I've been laying around. I do that too. Heh. Brad even caught me on the couch...and then told Julie he scolded me and told me to get down. Not a chance! He was just trying to score brownie points. He actually came over and sat down with me and we watched some TV.

Gimpy Ear Dog

I don't know what to do with myself...Brad and Julie are going to take me to the vet again. I heard them discussing this, openly, as if I were not even in the same room. Hello? It is my ear that is puffed up like a freaking blow fish. Shouldn't I even have a say in the matter? I question, do I want to go through another surgery? No, no, no! I do not! But my ear hurts, and I cannot live on pain pills alone. I'll become an addict, and that is not good. I'll be out on the streets looking for my next dose of doggie vicodin when my perscription runs out.

What to do, what to do? I heard Julie saying that she doesn't want to put me through another surgery either, because my puffed ear will probably just come back. What is the vet going to do for me? Amputate my ear?

It stinks to get old.