Good-bye Dooce

You know, I hope this is Dooce's new life. He got out, and is looooooong gone. Dooce, old buddy, I may have complained about you, but I wish you lots of relaxation in a nice warm home where you have plenty of food and drink. May you never have to go back to those bastards again!

Hello, My Name Howard, and I'll Bite Your Hotdog Off

Got in trouble today. Sulked afterward for the rest of the afternoon.

What can I tell you? I like having my way and when I don't get it I get angry. I am used to having my way. I am used to my routine. Brad gets up and I harass the heck out of him...let me out, feed me, give me water, let me out, give me an ice cube, I need to take a dump now so let me out again, now I need back in, hand me your socks so I can tear a hole in them.

Julie gets up an hour or so later, and I WANT THE WHOLE ROUTINE TO START OVER AGAIN. It is only fair, no?

Julie saw things differently this morning. I guess I spoke to early about her being more cheerful since starting the day shift. She shot me the look of death this morning when I started pitching my little fit. I was beside myself. How could she? When she gets up, I need outside to make sure the Orange Effer hasn't been around. I need to bark and make my presence known for the day, "Hello all you furry little effers, Howard's still in the neighborhood!"

I don't mince words either. You know I don't. I'm Howard, and I'll bite your hot dog off!