Chief Executive Effer

"....what if the orange effer was standing right next to the water delivery effer and then the rat dog next door strolled up? all 3 at the same time!!..." ~Anonymous

That right there is the stuff nightmares are made of. Whew. My heart is racing like a fat boy at a five minute all you can eat buffet!

I think I'd have to start with the Orange Effer, because he was probably the one who would arrange such a posse to torment me with. In fact, I am not certain, but I think Orange Effer might be the Chief Executive Effer for the water delivery company. I may have even seen a little orange cat logo on the delivery man's shirt and hat, and that my friend is no hallucination! That is the power of the Orange Effer.

Various Effers

The water delivery effer is coming tomorrow. I can just feel it in my bones, and I will be so ready for him. He probably thinks I am one ferocious dog. Heh heh. Last time he walked away, I swear I saw a brown spot on his shorts.

Orange Effer dared to show his ugly orange face yesterday. That cat is pitiful. He walked right up to the far side of my sliding glass door, waited, waited, and then dashed to the other side like a frightened little fluff ball instead of the evildoer that he really is. I tell you, Orange Effer will NOT be the death of me. Oh he tries, he really, really tries, but, I, Howard, am in control of this battle.

Speaking of battles, the little rat dog next door had his shock collar removed and it is on like Donkey Kong! I fought through the fence this afternoon like the ear blowin'-out good old days. What do I care if I blow out another ear? I'm old...ears are a bonus at my age.

Julie got a new Oreck vacuum cleaner. It is red. I take it as a challenge...it is the red cape, and I am the bull. Oh yes. I will conquer the Red Effer.