Sunday, November 27, 2011

Blue Damn Effer

Let me just get something straight here. I don't like that picture either! It is sort of a train wreck if you will. I don't want to look at it. It is disturbing on so many levels, but I can't NOT look at it. Then I just shudder. I am not losing my mind, and I don't need doggie dementia meds yet! But I respect your opinion, my loyal reader, and not to worry, I am not losing my hard edge.

I was just outside, and it is damn cold and foggy. So foggy that I had a hard time with my Orange Effer Radar, but I know he is lurking out there. He has ice running through his veins, so icy is his blood that the cold does not effect him in the least! That is why his fur is a warm color, like Orange, and I bet it is the only thing that keeps that effer alive. Otherwise, he would be the Blue Damn Effer!

Julie saw him darting around the park amongst the children. I don't know, I think those kids were safer when those pitbulls were running around wild and free. I have seen Orange Effers fangs. They are nasty.

I am glad Thanksgiving is over. Those delicious smells that tempt me, and I cannot partake in, damn near do me in. It is getting harder and harder, and Brad and Julie are all, "No Howard, you are too fat already!"

Orange Effer probably gets in my garbage cans and gets to feast off of all the deliciousness that I cannot have. Why that thought gives me indigestion!!!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I'm Back!



You can better believe that this fluffy effer did not kiss me, because she would not have liked my smooch!!!
I am still alive. Brad likes to hijack my website with guest posts for a buck. I don't believe in it, but I am just a dog. I think it is tacky, and Julie agrees with me. Sometimes we just humor him. Brad is pretty good about getting my walks in, so I will allow an occasional indiscretion. As long as some of that money goes toward buying more treats for me...
Orange Effer is still flaunting his evil ways. He comes by these days around 5 a.m. I don't understand why he chooses such a terrible hour, but then again it does not surprise me. I still bark like the devil is at the door, because, well, his representative here on earth is.
I am falling a lot these days, and it is really hard for me to get up, especially when I am on the tile. My hearing is diminshed, but my sense of sight and smell is going strong. Getting old isn't easy, but I'm still enjoying life enough to give the neighborhood effers hell! And the occasional delivery man. Heh heh!