3 Amigos and 1 Orange Effer

I don't know what just happened around here, but yesterday was a living hell. Furniture was moved all around, and 3 amigos were in and out of my house all day long. They ripped up my floor and rolled out new floor. WHO does this crazy stuff? I was exhausted trying to keep tabs on the strange men. EXHAUSTED! I couldn't even walk by the end of the day. No joke! Brad and Julie cannot keep pulling stuff like this on me.

For a minute there, I thought we were moving. I don't like to move. I am too damn old, and I don't want Orange Effer thinking he bullied me out of my own home. Speaking of the Orange Effer, I think HE might be moving.

What will I do without The Orange One? He infuriates me to no end, but he also makes my life exciting and adventurous. I don't think you understand what a thrill I get when I see that effer dart across my yard like orange lightning. I get all charged up and feel so young and invigorated!

Don't tell him I wrote this. I don't want his big head to explode and spill orange effervescence everywhere.