Sonofa B!Hello, my name is Howard. Welcome to my dog blog. You may be asking yourself, why would a dog have a blog? What does a dog have to say? Let me tell you, in my 10 years of life I have lived more than most people do in their 70+ years.
As a young pup taken too early from my mom, I endured the harsh Arizona landscape...fighting against all kinds of evils. Snakes, scorpions, road runners, coyotes, wild rabbits, and quail. Those quails may look innocent, but they are evil I tell you!
While living in Arizona I would get breaks to Santa Barbara, California, where my owners had a boat in the harbor. You have no idea the evils that lurked there as well. Seals...those effers bark just like I do! But they swim and go under the water. They taunted me every chance they got. Seagulls? PURE EVIL. I even killed one in front of the Santa Barbara Yacht club during their Wet Wednesday sailboat races. My owner wasn't too happy about that, but he doesn't realize how evil the seagull really is. I was protecting his ungrateful ass.
Then my owners decided they would move me to the mid west. I loved it! It was as cold as Arizona is hot, and the snow, oh the snow! How I loved the snow. But there are evils lurking there too. Namely, squirrels. Those little bastards are pure evil I tell you! They scurry around just to piss me off. I know it. However, the squirrel is not nearly as evil as my arch enemy, the wicked cat. My first encounter with the evil cat found me out of my mind with rage, where I nearly ran into the neighbors house before a door was slammed in my face. That cat was lucky, but it continued to torment me every chance it got. No wonder they call wimps 'pussies,' because that cat would only harass me when I was safely behind the doors of my own home. Un-freakin-believable.
Now I am living in northern California, land of the fruits and nuts, and cows. I hate those evil smelly beasts. Only something evil could smell that bad. You cows make me bark at you like a maniac with just a whiff of you. Strangely, you taste much better than you smell. It is also home to many, many cats. As you can see by this picture my owner snapped, the cats in my neighborhood are especially evil. They prance around on the fence tops right in front of me in my own backyard. EVIL!!!!!!!!!!
I have traveled thousands of miles and I have 10 years of wisdom to draw upon. I have a lot to say, and there is no holding me back now with my very own dog blog. Take that you evil cats! No one would read a cat blog, and if they would then they are pure evil.
As a young pup taken too early from my mom, I endured the harsh Arizona landscape...fighting against all kinds of evils. Snakes, scorpions, road runners, coyotes, wild rabbits, and quail. Those quails may look innocent, but they are evil I tell you!
While living in Arizona I would get breaks to Santa Barbara, California, where my owners had a boat in the harbor. You have no idea the evils that lurked there as well. Seals...those effers bark just like I do! But they swim and go under the water. They taunted me every chance they got. Seagulls? PURE EVIL. I even killed one in front of the Santa Barbara Yacht club during their Wet Wednesday sailboat races. My owner wasn't too happy about that, but he doesn't realize how evil the seagull really is. I was protecting his ungrateful ass.
Then my owners decided they would move me to the mid west. I loved it! It was as cold as Arizona is hot, and the snow, oh the snow! How I loved the snow. But there are evils lurking there too. Namely, squirrels. Those little bastards are pure evil I tell you! They scurry around just to piss me off. I know it. However, the squirrel is not nearly as evil as my arch enemy, the wicked cat. My first encounter with the evil cat found me out of my mind with rage, where I nearly ran into the neighbors house before a door was slammed in my face. That cat was lucky, but it continued to torment me every chance it got. No wonder they call wimps 'pussies,' because that cat would only harass me when I was safely behind the doors of my own home. Un-freakin-believable.
Now I am living in northern California, land of the fruits and nuts, and cows. I hate those evil smelly beasts. Only something evil could smell that bad. You cows make me bark at you like a maniac with just a whiff of you. Strangely, you taste much better than you smell. It is also home to many, many cats. As you can see by this picture my owner snapped, the cats in my neighborhood are especially evil. They prance around on the fence tops right in front of me in my own backyard. EVIL!!!!!!!!!!
I have traveled thousands of miles and I have 10 years of wisdom to draw upon. I have a lot to say, and there is no holding me back now with my very own dog blog. Take that you evil cats! No one would read a cat blog, and if they would then they are pure evil.
2 comments:
Hi Howard! Congratulations on getting your own blog. You deserve it.
Tom
Damn right I do tom12008!
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