This is Where Being a Bad Ass Will Get You

Taken after the veterinary assistant took my RECTAL temperature!

A picture of the measuring cup for my new diet, and the muzzle that they tried to put on me because evidently I am a potential "fear bitter." I got that muzzle off in no time. HUH! What now beeyotches?!?

This is not happening to me...I am having a nightmare...I will wake up soon.

IV site.

All was going along as any other normal day. Brad and Julie got up and got ready for the day. Brad let me outside while Julie took her sweet time getting ready. We took a walk around the park and I did my morning business. We come back to the house and Julie is putting a sheet in the back seat of the car, and I'm thinking, "road trip!" I was so happy...I love going places! We all get in the car and head down the road 2 miles only to turn into this ranch looking place. Picture me saying, "Ohhhh...sshhhoooottt..." in very slow motion.

I. was. at. the. vet.

Turns out my fighting the new neighbor's dog through the fence got me what they call an "aural hematoma" or a bleed in the ear flap for all you non-medical types like me. I had to have surgery to remove the blood collecting in my ear flap, and when I woke up from the anesthesia, son-of-a-biscuiteater if my ear was not stitched to my very own head. They shaved my head and stitched my ear to it! Can you believe that bastard who calls himself a vet and looks and sounds like Ceasar Milan the Dog Whisperer?

To add insult to injury I've been walking around with a hood on my head ever since, and Dr. Dog Whisperer says I need to lose weight so Brad and Julie are all up in that business and being all hardcore with my eating.

What on earth did I do to deserve this worst week ever?

Pray for me.

Those damn kitties put a hex on me.

I'm hungry.

Send snacks.