Not You Again

DO NOT let his innocent face fool you. This effer spends more time in my backyard than I do! I don't know what his name is, but I call him Charles. Short for Charles Manson, because he is a psycho!

Where There Is a Will

Our garbage can USED to be without a lid. Julie thought she could outwit me, but that obviously is not so. Heh.Heh.

The Cone Is Off!

I have to say that I am one happy sonofaB to have my cone off. Oh, did I forget to tell you about that? My bad, but I've been so freakin' happy that I haven't had time to tell my vast fan base, the 4 or so people who read my blog on a daily basis.

I have also been busy protecting my backyard from that nut job who keeps digging under the fence and coming over. WHO does he think he is? My owners are all, "Oh how sad, the poor little guy has to live outside all the time even in the rain and now he is coming to our backyard to sit under the tree while it rains."

Boo.

Hoo.

Hoo.

I do NOT feel sorry for him.

I don't.

MAYBE if he had not torn his dog house down he would have somewhere to stay dry.

The FedEx Effer

You know, this FedEx Effer is everywhere. He was in Santa Barbara, Arizona, Illinois, and now northern California. He is one sonofa B. KNOCKS on my door, drops a package, and runs off like the effer he is. What kind of company is FedEx running? Knocking and running is not, I repeat not, good customer service. It is a prank. Couldn't he at least hang around, get to know me, and let me sniff his ass? Nothing personal, I just want to know what he had for lunch and get a sense of his worthiness to be on my doorstep. Is that asking too much? I think not.