The Effer Got Out and Drama Ensued

Yes, the drama escalated this week when the effer escaped his backyard paradise. I, Howard, say this with all the sarcasm intended, because evidently our City's Animal Control thinks that Effer had adequate living conditions. WTF? When did sitting and laying in your own poo become acceptable? Did this happen when Obama became president?

I digress.

So Effer escaped and Brad caught him in the park across the street. Nice, there is nothing more serene than a pit bull running loose amongst a park full of children. I must say that Effer is actually a pretty nice guy. He is friendly and full of the energy of a young pup.

Effer's owners are another story.

It killed Brad, but he took Effer back to his owners who were peeking through our fence looking for him like the bastards that they are. They even got in the car and drove around looking for Effer. Brad called a couple of rescue organizations who wouldn't touch Effer because Animal Control was involved. So after giving him some food and water, back he went to his bastard owners.

As Brad was handing Effer over, who happens to actually be named Deuce, Brad made a couple of comments about how thin Effer was and that if they didn't want him we'd be glad to find him a new home. Turns out Effer's owners think they are kind, compassionate dog owners who take good care of their dog. Denial is not just a river in Egypt folks.

Effer's tough guy owner comes around the corner to our house a few minutes later, puffing his chest out and hopping around like a damn Mexican jumping bean who wants to kick Brad's ass. I could not believe my eyes. Did this guy think he could mess with Brad in MY presence? Oh. Hell. No. I stepped in the middle of them, Julie is telling her mom to call the police, her mom runs to Brad's side trying to be a peace maker, which makes me doubly nervous, Julie is standing to the side and paralyzed with fear because her fight-or-flight mechanism had not kicked in yet. Was it broke? No! Soon she is telling the guy that she was the informant who called Animal Control, and I'm thinking how am I going to protect all three of these jackballs? None of us are used to ghetto-like neighbors wanting to kick our asses.

Finally Effer's mom comes flying around the corner like a drama queen, yelling at her husband, "Stop! Stop! He isn't worth it!" What is Brad doing? Acting like a damn tough guy himself, saying, "Hit me! Hit me! Go ahead! I dare you!!!" Oh geez...my job was getting more difficult by the second.

Brad didn't get hit, the situation fizzled out, but now we have neighbors who hate us. Brad and Julie think it was worth it if the dog is taken better care of. As you can see in the picture above, Effer has missed more than a few meals, but the City Animal Control thinks he is adequately fed. Dude...they haven't seen ME. I'm the well-fed one!