Orange Effer

I feel the need to set the record straight. I whooped that cat one-on-one. Orange and black fur were flying!!! Dooce was like, "I told that effer Howard, I told him you were one fierce bastard." The yapping squeeky toy dog on the other side was like, "Word...Howard busted his ear with me through the fence. He doesn't take #$#@ from anyone, especially a cat."

HOWEVER, a certain species never learns. Orange Effer was spotted by Julie this morning in my backyard. I'll bust another ear if I have to. You know I will.

Ear Problems

Hello...I am back. I, Howard, have another aural hematoma. It may or may not have happened when I tangled with a certain orange kitty who LOVES to sashay through my backyard like he freakin' owns the place.

Brad and Julie are beside themselves. How are they going to afford another $600 vet bill they ask? I feel bad. I really do, but what am I supposed to do when this effer taunts me? I'm a dog. I don't know how to turn the other cheek.

Should I take anger management classes? At my elderly age, I just don't think I can change.