What is Wrong With This Picture?

Do you see any puppy paw prints with those shoe prints? No? Me neither!

Brad and Julie have been some road trip taking fools this past year, and I can bet your pretty little fluffy kitty they'll be taking more trips this year. Will I get to go? That is the question I have on my mind as we enter the year two thousand ten.

IF they plan to take me, you better believe I'll be making sure Brad gets a tune up, gets an oil change and the like. I Howard, do not want to be broke down on the side of the road waiting for some jack ball to come tow us to safety.

For instance, I've been wanting to take a trip to Houston, Texas, because I am a cowboy at heart. Do you know what makes me a cowboy? I don't take guff from anyone, except Brad, but that's because I have no choice if I want to eat and I LOVE to eat. A cowboy has to keep up his strength and I don't want to be stuck in some Houston Auto Repair shop wondering where my next meal is going to come from, while some Acura Integra driving yuppy gets his oil changed on his lunch break.

You know I like routine.

I thrive on routine.

Even the kitties in the neighborhood know to come by at their designated time. At 10 a.m. Orange Effer usually makes his appearance. At noon, Black Bastard shows up. It's just the way my life works. And it works for me.

Got Insurance?

Brad and Julie get to see all the interesting sights while I stay home and protect the mansion. My questions about this picture are:

A. How does this goat like being tied to the bumper? I would be T-Oed.
B. Has this guy ever heard of a dog? Dogs are mans best friend, not goats.
C. Can you get pet insurance on a goat?

I just have these burning questions when I look at this picture. I mean, how fair is it that this godforsaken GOAT of all living creatures gets to go on a road trip and I, Howard, do not?

Howard Ali

Damn I'm getting old!

I still call the shots though. I not only make Brad and Julie tow the line, but the two jackballs that live on either side of me as well. I set the standards here at 123 Maple Street. Of course that is not my real address, do you think I would actually give my real address out? Unless you want to send me big monies, then just e-mail me and I'll make arrangements. Heheh.

I digress. My point is this. I want to stay healthy to fight the good fight, and I do mean FIGHT. Just this past week I've been in two fights. Jackball 1 on the right tries to flex his muscle, and take over and don't get me wrong, I like peace, but sometimes you just have to put the smackdown and put pooches and kitties in their place. I HOWARD CALL THE SHOTS!!!

Jackball 2 got me in big fat trouble, however, with Brad. You would not believe how harsh Brad was on me. He not only called me naughty boy and bad boy, but BAD DOG. I Howard am NOT I tell you NOT a bad dog. How dare he! I have since forgiven him, because I'm a dog and that is just our way, but I did sulk around for a couple of hours to make my point known.

I have to tell you, when I fight through the fence it invigorates me. I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee! I eat thunder and crap lightning! Mohammed Ali ain't got nothin' on me!

Not again

Please take this thing off of me.