Orange Effer, Mall Cop

I just grab the SD card...
pick it up with my mouth...
stick it between my toes and pop it in the card reader.

That, my friend, is how I do my blog posts. I highly doubt Orange Effer could do a blog. He doesn't have the wits that it takes. You never hear about bomb sniffing Orange Effers, do you?

No, you don't.

I could get a job with Homeland Security, and do a better job than they are doing by the way, but Orange Effer couldn't even get a job as a mall cop.

I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm really really bad!

Oh, wait, maybe I shouldn't be singing like Michael Jackson. Not very tough. I am a mean, shiny-coated, magnificent bastard. I eat thunder and crap lightning!

Photo Shoot

Orange Effer mugging for the camera

Orange Effer, probably cracking up with laughter at this point, telling Brad, "Hey, get one of me like this!"


That damn Orange Effer had a gay old time in the park
with Brad. Yes, I said gay. The nerve of this cat is limitless. I don't even begin to have the words to describe my fury upon discovering these pictures on Brad's SD card. I am sure Brad thinks it is hilarious to have a photo shoot with Orange Effer in the park, but I am not humored! I'd like to have a shooting range with Orange Effer.


What is next? The water man over for coffee? The UPS effer over for dinner?

I AM HEATED!

Another One Shocks the Pooch!

Well, Junior has a bark collar. He tried to start a fight with me through the fence, and it stopped before it got started. He barked and yelped. Yep...and I think it is because of one episode late Saturday night that involved the police. Junior was barking his fool head off for over an hour, when Julie had had enough. Don't mess with her. She has been laying down the law around here, but that's another story. Anyway, she called the non-emergency number, and asked if there was anything that could be done about a barking dog whose owners did not seem to be home. Apparently there is, and it is as if that damn Junior KNEW Julie was calling the cops on him, because he shut his mug instantly. To be honest with you, Junior is the Chuck Manson of the dog world. I wouldn't go spreading this around, but he is one messed up puppy, and I may or may not have seen a swastika on his forehead. Okay, maybe not, but still, he is cah-razy!

Funny, how these pooches that start fights with me through the fence all end up with bark collars. Kinda makes me feel bad, because, really, I could back down but choose not to. Hmm, oh well, I'll get over it!

Pelosi Effer

Flags Flying Over the London Bridge in Lake Havasu

Thank God the elections are over, and thank God I will no longer have to see that Pelosi Effer's squirrely, sourpuss face constantly on the news for awhile. There is only so much of that woman even a dog can take!

Moving right along... I think Pelosi hatched Orange Effer from an egg! I wonder what Drudge would say about that??? I think he would go along with it personally.

Itty Bitty Doggie Committee

I got in trouble tonight. I snatched a cookie right out of Julie's hand that she was getting ready to eat. She was heated! Do not get between Julie and a cookie. I should know better, but I like peanut butter too! If anything, she should be thanking me for the calories I saved her. I get no appreciation though, just a "HOWARD! NO! NO! BAD BOY!" Pfffttt!

Brad took the baby effer to the park this evening after our walk, and apparently all of the action happened then. Why couldn't it happen on my outing? Why??? According to Brad, Orange Effer was prancing around the park like only an Orange Effer could, acting all fluffy, bad, and orange. I swear Orange Effer has an overinflated sense of ego, and probably thinks he is a tiger. Well, guess what? A little white poodle chased Orange Effer across the park. I was dying while Brad told the story. What I wouldn't give to see that in replay. An itty bitty white poodle. Take that Orange Effer. You've been whooped by a miniature doggie. Woof!