Last night I think Julie considered sending me to the pound. I'll admit it. I was naughty. I was one naughty, shiny coated magnificent bastard last night.
There is no shame in my game. None.
I was on effer watch all night long, because one Black and White Effer kept all the pooches in the neighborhood stirred up. It was a night where I felt such camaraderie with my fellow pooch neighbors, because we were all in it together. What choice did I have but to disrupt Brad and Julie's peaceful dreams with a dire, this is an emergency, get out of bed and let me at 'em bark?
I did not have a choice. Barking came so naturally as an animal instinct.
Can you believe it? The pure evilness that these kitties harbor in their very beings astounds me time after time. They tease and taunt and enjoy every minute of it, and I had damn well had it this morning when Brad let me out the door.
I may be a little portly, but I can run like a greyhound for approximately 3.2 seconds when need be, and let me tell you, Black and White Effer saw his life flash before his very eyes when he saw me coming. It was like all night long he laughed and mocked me, and said, "come get me fat boy," and I did. I showed him that fat boys can run.
I nicked that Effer's tail. He lost one of his 9 lives. One down, 8 to go!
P.S. Julie has forgiven me.
1 comment:
some day a truck will make that effer a flat cat....then when it dries in the hot summer sun the kids in the neighborhood can play frisbee with it
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