Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Oreck Is Not My Friend


DO NOT let this picture fool you! Oreck and I are NOT buddies!!!


I have never been assaulted by the vacuum cleaner, but it is one horrible beast that I will fight until the day I die. I think its name is Oreck, because that is what is plastered all over it. What kind of prick machine needs to have its name all over it? Anyway, Oreck is loud, rude, and demanding of my time. Why, just when I am settling down for a nap in a soft corner, Julie revs the beast up and pushes it around the house, and then I have to get up and show it who is boss.

I'll admit, I dance around and lunge at Oreck like one mean ol' mofo, but it brings out the worst in me. The worst. At least my teeth marks will be on that effer long after I am gone.

Heh. Heh.

It brings out the worst in Julie too, because she thinks she has to scold me. She is so "protective" of Oreck, which quite frankly hurts my feelings. Yes, I do have feelings.

She should be protective of me over Oreck, but she says that Oreck doesn't run after and bite at me like I do him. Huh? Wha? Has she lost her mind? The reason Oreck does not come after me is because I have whipped that effer into submission.

Oooohhh yeah!

Oreck is a wuss, and very very afraid of me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Howard no comment here...I think you are "pulling my leg" here...I know you know what OReck really is,and you are just playing with it...you are too smart to think this is an effer...now, if it is making too much noise, I can understand giving it grief