SOLACE

Thank you for sharing, Anonymous, friend of Howard:

From the Silence of your pain, I heard my name

and on the wings of light I have come

to see the sadness in your eyes

that cry without tears

Can you see me, I am here

I will always be near you,

to calm your shattered heart

and to make you smile at the memories

Do you feel me, perhaps a soft brush of fur

You ache to believe it's real

but you are afraid to hope

you brush away a strand of hair

But it was I, whispering

I am only here for a moment

The silver thread gently quivers

I will leave behind my love in a dream

When you awaken and without really knowing why

Your heart will know at last

That it is all right for now

to say goodbye.

SOLACE, Lisa Carmel Singer

When I Get Where I'm Going

There is not a day that goes by that we do not think of you. We think we have to rush home to let you outside, or think you will be there to greet us with your wet nose, soft ears and happy bark. We miss you so very, very much. We miss your grumpiness in the evenings. We haven't seen Orange Effer since you've been gone, and there is no one to bark and alert us of God knows what random effer might be walking up to our house with plans to lay siege on everything we own.

You made us feel happy, warm, and safe. You can never be replaced Howdog, and when we "get where we are going" we will be looking for you boy.

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

[Chorus]
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

[Repeat chorus]

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going

One Friend

This coming Thursday it will be 3 weeks since we said goodbye to you Howard.  We miss you so much, and wish we could cross that Rainbow Bridge and grab you and bring you back, but maybe if we saw how happy you are there, we wouldn't want to.

It is so hard to come home and not have you here to greet us.  When we bring in groceries, you are not here to trip over so excited to smell what is in the bags.  When I was in Trader Joes last week, and saw the dog treats, I wanted to knock them all off of the shelf.  How dare Trader Joes continue selling dog treats when you are not here to enjoy them!

The day you left us, we held you.  Brad held your head in his hands and petted you, while you licked his hand as the doctor administered the medicine to put you to sleep.  You slowly stopped licking, and were gone.  Howard, I have never seen Brad so sad.  He stood up, and dropped to the ground and sobbed.  I had to help him in the house.  You guys were always the best buddies.  I brought you home, but you became Brad's dog when you two first laid eyes on each other.

We hear you all the time.  We hear your nails scratching the wall when you roll over at night, listen for you to get up and get a drink of water, and hear your collar rattle when you shake...but then we realize those comfortable, familiar sounds are now just memories and our hearts break all over again.

It seems like just yesterday you were this cute little black puppy, wild and full of energy.  I was only 25 years old myself.  Where did the years go Howard?  So many memories are wrapped around you...so many wonderful, wonderful memories that we will always make us smile and cry all at the same time.

Howard, we are glad you are no longer suffering, but we sure miss you buddy!

Goodbye Dear Friend

Dear Howard's One and Only Reader,

It is with a broken heart that we let you know that our much loved, Howard, has crossed the Rainbow Bridge to be with his best buddy, Sare Bear.  We said our good-byes on Thursday, May 17, 2012, at 5:30 p.m. in the comfort of his own yard, as Brad lovingly held him in his arms while the vet gave him medicine to end his suffering.  He licked Brad's hands until he fell asleep as if to so say, "I trust you", and to thank him for all the wonderful years, and this one final act of love.  Howard is no longer in pain, and is running and jumping and having all the fun that he had in his younger years.

Howard gave us so much love and enjoyment, as only a dog can do.  When I asked Brad what he thought about getting a dog, he told me, "use your best judgement."  So I did.  I marched down to the Western Arizona Humane Society, in Lake Havasu City, AZ, and picked out a little black puppy from the sweetest litter of pups I had ever seen.  That was fourteen years ago.  Howard, turned out to be not so sweet, but more of a kick ass and ask questions later kind of dog.  He kept me company in Arizona when Brad had to leave to Santa Barbara for work 2 - 3 days at a time.  He drove me crazy and made me feel safe.  He was an excellent watch dog, and I don't know when I will ever sleep such worry free sleep without him.

For Brad and Howard, it was love at first site.  Howard instantly became Brad's dog.  They were best buddies, and I swear Howard would get ticked at me when Brad had to be gone for a couple of days or more.  He went into depression mode for the first day, and constantly watched and waited for him to return.  We'd go out on the warm Arizona nights that Brad was due home, and sit together and wait for him to drive up in his white Ford Ranger XLT which ironically turned out to be the same exact truck that the vet drove and took Howard away for his finally bye bye ride.  Howard LOVED that truck.  I truly believe, with God, there are no coincidences.

Fourteen years goes by way too fast.  I was only 25 years old then.  So much has happened in those 14 years, and Howard was a part of each and every one of them.  He was such a good dog to us, and loved us and protected us with such devotion.  He would have laid down his life for us.  No effer was going to stand in his way!  His hips gave out long before his spirit ever did, and they caused him a lot of pain and suffering that was just too much to bear.

Howard, you were Brad's best buddy, and my favorite watch dog.  Life will not be the same without you and we cannot believe you are gone.  Our hearts are breaking and there is a hole in the world right now, because you are gone.  We truly thought you'd live forever, how can it possibly be that you are no longer here?  It just doesn't seem real, Howdog, that you are gone.  I keep waiting to hear your breathing, or your nails scratch against the wall when you roll over at night.  When I get up in the middle of the night, I always look for you, or expect to hear you drinking water at 3 a.m. listening to make sure it wasn't from the toilet.  You will always be in our hearts until we see you again, and will stand as a fine example of my "best judgement."   

To Howard's Favorite and Only Reader, and you'd be his favorite even if you weren't the only reader, thanks for sharing in the laughs that Howard never failed to bring into our lives.

Sincerely,
Brad and Julie

The Orange Effer is a Vampire

I am feeling better and getting around a little better.  Must be that extra dose of glucosamine Brad is giving me.  Plus, since I was not eating, Brad has started giving me wet food with my dry food, and sometimes only wet food and I like that much better.  It is not easy being an old codger, and it ought to come with some benefits.

You know who else is an old codger?  I'll give you one guess...give up?  Of course, it's Orange Effer.  I think I saw a grey whisker in his beard the other day.  He was walking along the fence top prancing around like, "Look at me Howard.  I am so young and vibrant and you are so old and stiff-jointed!"

I willed that effer to trip over his own shadow, and when I barked through the screen door he dashed off like the true skeerdy cat he is, but before he got completely away I saw a flash of silver on the side of his ugly mug.
That being said, I think Orange Effer is like a vampire and has been around for centuries tormenting the likes of me.

Sporty Rig!

Don't need one of these yet!  No sir!  Brad increased my joint vitamins and perhaps it is helping.

Or

Perhaps it is pure hatred for The Orange Effer that has been lubricating my hip joints.  Typically hatred increases inflammation in one's body, however, in my case, it is having a reverse effect.  

Or

Maybe, it is because, I, Howard, the Magnificent Shiny Coated Bastard that I am, is not your typical pooch!

Thank the Lord, because I can only imagine the uproar Orange Effer would have if he saw me sporting this rig.  He'd take pictures and put them on Cat Tube and all of his evil cohorts would have a catty old time posting sarcastic remarks about me.  

Effers.

Cash For Keys - The Deuce Family Leaves

I have had a pretty good day today. It is very hard to get up, but once I am up, I'm up. I even ate two bowls of dog food today, and some of Julie's scrambled eggs this morning. Now, I am dictating this to Julie from the cold tile floor that Brad hates for me to lie down on. He hates it, because it is even harder for me to get up and he has to help me, and then I growl at him because, well, it is just what I do. It is like a scene from a Mexican Telenova really.

Anyway, my plan is to convince Julie that the eggs made all the difference in the world!!! So maybe I will get them everyday!!!

Orange Effer isn't going to be leaving. Sir-Barks-A-Lot next door lets me know what's up. Sir-Barks-A-Lot is as annoying as hell, but I've started making use of him to my benefit. I even thank him every now and then by pretending I am gonna fight him through the fence again. Really gets him pumped up and makes him feel tough, even though he is not. Sir-Barks-A-Lot is a lonely little feller.

The petrified poop forest from Deuce's house is cleaned up. The house was foreclosed on and the owners got cash for keys. Good riddance Deuce Family...you were never good enough for the Deuce anyway.

For Sare Bear

I am not doing so well. My back legs are really giving out, and all I want to eat are my treats. However, if Orange Effer crosses my path, I can still give him my best Chuck Norris effort. I have to say, I have been a fighter all of my life and that isn't going to change just because my old back legs don't work!

About two months ago my best dog friend ever, Sare Bear, passed over The Rainbow Bridge. She was as sweet and gentle as I am old and curmudgeonly. We met when she was two years old and I was about 3 months old. She drooled when she saw me, and really, who can blame her? I was so doggone cute and she would have been a good mama. She was the only dog who could ever put me in my place. I miss her and know that someday I will join her and we can play again like the pups we used to be not so very long ago. I can cross that bridge myself, knowing that she will be there to greet me.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

For now, I take it one day at a time, but I have been wanting to put this poem on my blog in tribute to my beautiful friend, Sare Bear.

Train or Treat, Smell Orange Effer's Feet, Give Me Something Good to Eat!

Look! I found a picture of the Orange Effer Attacking a younger version of me! That Effer is trying to intimidate me via the Internets!!

Do you think it is unreasonable of me to demand treats when I go outside and come back in? I really don't think it is. In fact, sometimes I will just stick my nose out the door, turn around, and head straight for the treat pantry. Is that so wrong? I see nothing wrong with it, and if anything it just points to my ingeniousness.

Brad and Julie think they have ME trained, but I think I have THEM trained even better. Oh yeah!!! Bring on the treats.

I bet Orange Effer doesn't have his people trained, sorry effer that he is.

Orange Effer No More!

Julie has been very lackadaisical about updating my blog, and she knows I am at her mercy. I do not have thumbs and fingers that move so effortlessly across the keyboard, but doggone it if I did you would have lots of posts on here. Granted, many of them would be angry and harsh in nature, and might sound like the mind of a man holed up in a standoff against effers, mainly the Orange Effer, but I have my soft side too.

Orange Effers owners are moving. Do you remember The Duece? Well, I recently put two-and-two together and figured out that they also own The Orange Damn Effer. It figures such a rough family would own one evil cat as evil as Orange Effer. Mr. Duece came after Brad like a street fighter, and I literally lost control of my bladder when it happened, but not my bowels. They were fine.

I am not so sure the Orange Effer will be moving with his family. I think in his mind, he is thinking he can stick around here and still torment my daily existence. It will not happen. Oh no. It will not! I have a plan. Orange Effer, if you are reading this, I suggest you crawl back into that hole you hide out in.

3 Amigos and 1 Orange Effer

I don't know what just happened around here, but yesterday was a living hell. Furniture was moved all around, and 3 amigos were in and out of my house all day long. They ripped up my floor and rolled out new floor. WHO does this crazy stuff? I was exhausted trying to keep tabs on the strange men. EXHAUSTED! I couldn't even walk by the end of the day. No joke! Brad and Julie cannot keep pulling stuff like this on me.

For a minute there, I thought we were moving. I don't like to move. I am too damn old, and I don't want Orange Effer thinking he bullied me out of my own home. Speaking of the Orange Effer, I think HE might be moving.

What will I do without The Orange One? He infuriates me to no end, but he also makes my life exciting and adventurous. I don't think you understand what a thrill I get when I see that effer dart across my yard like orange lightning. I get all charged up and feel so young and invigorated!

Don't tell him I wrote this. I don't want his big head to explode and spill orange effervescence everywhere.

Close Call

I haven't been in the blogging mood, in case you did not notice, but when Julie told me she almost ran over the Orange Effer when he darted out in traffic on a major street near our neighborhood, well I just need to get some things off my chest:

1. "Almost": How do you almost run over the Orange One? Either you do, or you don't, and if you didn't then you should have.
2. Only evil effers like the Orange One can defy death as many times as he has. He is far, far beyond his allotted 9 lives!
3. How is it that the Orange One can get so far from his home, on his own? Why don't his owners put a leash on him and take him for a walk like mine and every other dog respecting individual does?
4. Does the Orange One get more treats in a day than I do? Because IF HE DOES I AM NOT HAPPY!!!

I will do anything to get more treats. I have Brad and Julie pretty well trained on my treat schedule, but every once in awhile they get all upitty and high and mighty about me needing to lay off the treats. I am old. Really old. I will be 14 years old soon, and that is old in dog years, so I should get whatever treats I demand because realistically I do not have much time left to enjoy treats!

Effer Tracking System

Brad had to keep me out of the house for an hour after the BUG MAN EFFER sprayed the inside of our house for the insane ANT EFFERS. I tell you, so many effers, so little time. I am getting too many effers in my life to keep track of. I need an effer tracking system or something.

Anyway, the Big Red Dog that walks around the park has started to look a little too cocky. I can't have that. It is complete bull. No one steals my thunder and gets away with it. Since my congestive heart failure kicks in from time-to-time, Brad had to stop for me to have a break during our walk today. Well, on one of those breaks, Big Red Dog trots by like "Hey, hey, hey, look at me, I am young and virile and full of energy, I own this park." Boiled my blood. I mustered up all of the energy I had, and let that bastard have it when he walked by. Scared him to death. He didn't think this old dog had it in him, but I did, oh yes, I did. Big Red Dog had to find himself a little spot to pee afterward, just like an over-excited cocker spaniel.

The Bugman Effer

As of today, I have a new effer in my life: meet The Bugman Effer. He is an old man, just like me. I kind of like him. I can tell a good man when I meet one. Still, in all, I can't let my guard down. For now, he is The Bugman Effer, and when he comes to spray our house with his hostile chemicals, I will bark my fool head off like he is the Orange Effer Himself!

Our kitchen was overrun with ants. The ants even got in my dog bowl, which is unacceptable. How am I supposed to keep my nutrition up? At this point in my life, I need all of the help I can get to stay in shape to fight off the Orange One.

I like to get treats when I go outside and come back in. I do my business, kick my back legs up, and run back into the house and head straight for the pantry cabinet. Now that the air is colder outside, I thought I had an excellent idea to get my treats without having to get cold. Stick my nose out the door, turn around, and head straight to the pantry. Great idea in my book! Not so much in Brad's. He hasn't fallen for it yet, but I am still working on him. He isn't as easy to train as he used to be.