Brad took the baby and me for a walk together last night. Julie was at a meeting. Let me just say, Brad is not too coordinated, and it was a scene at first. Admittedly, I did not make things easy for him, but what am I to do when a little rat dog is trying to one up me and a kid on a skateboard whizzes by simultaneously? I will be the first to admit that I do not hold myself together well in the face of triggers like these. I lose all composure and act like a complete bastard. I cannot help myself.
I was thinking today. That baby's first words are going to be, "Howard, NO! Howard go lay down! Howard be nice to the baby!" I wish I could teach that baby a few words, because if I could he would say, "Daddy, go get Howard a treat out of the cupboard immediately! Mommy, let Howard outside to get that Orange Effer!" Something useful.
I have to admit, I do enjoy it when that baby cries at 3 a.m. and Julie and Brad have to get out of bed to investigate the situation. Sweet justice is what I am talking about!
I need a vacation to Monterey. I deserve a vacation after all of the BS I have been putting up with lately. Maybe Orange Effer got to go to Monterey, and I will see him on the beach?
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When I fight through the fence it invigorates me. I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee! I eat thunder and crap lightning! Mohamed Ali ain't got nothin' on me!
1 comment:
just go with the flow...you can dream of the nice cool ocean air, the smells, the seagull effers begging to be chased...in the meantime, try not to stress and get any more gray muzzle hairs...trust me,I know: once they start popping up, they ain't going away...
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